May I Kiss This: Tales from the classroom

So today I was teaching a fairly average lesson about dangerous health habits. Lots of new vocabulary, fun words like "habits," "enviornment," and "non-smoker." But the boys in this seventh grade group, very smart but total punks, which makes me very angry as they tend to waste my time and theirs. But two of the boys kept hitting each other. They are friends and were sitting next to each other. Now Ukrainian children ask permission to do everything, they stand when I walk in the room, though ironically they talk when I am talking. It is all in my opinion a form of false respect which doesn't work for me becasue they don't scare them the way their other teachers do. But the one boy Oleh, was beating the crap out of his friend Andriy with the text book. And I am yelling to stop. It was a rather good natured beating given the circumstances. So Andriy hits back. They are fighting in English which please me no end. And they are saying "Miss Kate may I hit him?" As they are hitting which pretty much negates the question mark. "Yelling, I hit you, I hit you, I hit you." Once he is through with the play by play, Oleh grabs Andriy around the neck and puts his fist up and says: "Miss Kate, may I kiss this?" I know he means "kill" but I burst out laughing and all of the smart and attentive girls in the class get the joke to. The boys are very embarassed. Serves them right for not studying.